


That extra sausage life

by TyrantTirade



Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Awkward Flirting, Bets & Wagers, Crushes, Embarrassment, M/M, Meet-Cute, Pizza, Sexual Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-07
Updated: 2018-10-07
Packaged: 2019-07-27 17:23:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 997
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16223795
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TyrantTirade/pseuds/TyrantTirade
Summary: “I'm not saying that,” Bucky deadpans, “Why do you even want me to say that?”Natasha, from the front seat of her car twists to look back at him, gripping the passenger seat headrest “Because we love humiliating you,” She starts.





	That extra sausage life

**Author's Note:**

> Ive had this sitting in docs for at least 6 months. 
> 
> This was inspired by something that captain fuckstick's coworker said. Its really stupid.
> 
> All mistakes are mine.

“I'm not saying that,” Bucky deadpans, “Why do you even want me to say that?”

Natasha, from the front seat of her car twists to look back at him, gripping the passenger seat headrest “Because we love humiliating you,” She starts.

From the passenger seat Clint drops his head back, grinning as he chimes in, “Yeah, we love humiliating you.”

Bucky makes a face, something between irritated and murderous as he glances at Clint. His own legs spread out in the back seat, arms crossing.

And really, Bucky should be used to this by now. He should be more than used to it. His friends are dicks that love bets.

Which, not for lack of trying to win, he cant win a bet to save his fucking life. 

He should have figured that the rules being “the loser buys pizza however the winners want,” isn't as innocent as it seemed. No one specified until after he had lost that ‘however the winners want,’ wasn't just, the toppings. 

He also should have figured that it would have to be ordered from the pizza dude that he's had a crush on for a year. 

Because of course it did. 

He sticks his finger up, pointing it accusedly to Clint, “Shut your whore mouth,” he says begrudgingly.

“Hey man, you lost the bet,” Clint responds, shrugging as his face curls into a smile.

Bucky would never describe himself as a sore loser. At least, usually he wouldn't, but still, he crosses his arms, pouting because he's about to make himself look stupid, and/or possible get the shit beaten out of him all over a stupid bet, for a stupid sport that he doesn't even like.

But it's fine, it's- completely fine. So completely fine. Who cares if he makes an idiot of himself to dreamy Steve.

He whines, asking “What the fuck am i saying again?” 

“Okay,” Natasha begins, smirking evilly, “Just go up to Steve, if its not Steve you ask for Steve, and say 'I want you on a pizza, cause im about that extra sausage life.”

Bucky physically feels his face contort into an expression that he can only describe as disgust. It's not even funny, he thinks. 

Maybe if it were actually funny he wouldn't mind, maybe Steve wouldn't think that he's a complete idiot. But of course, his friends are dicks. Not just dicks, but dicks that know how to humiliate him.

And just to make matters worse he cant take it back, they're already there.

Squeezing the door handle tight, Bucky grumbles and pouts and finally ends up stepping out of the car, babbling, “I hate you both,” before he slams the door shut. 

He doesn't even bother looking back to see those two fuckbags laughing, just walks into the store. Just knowing that his demise is ahead of him, is embarrassment enough. 

The bell to the entry door chimes. Bucky keeps his head down, staring at the obnoxious floor tiles as he approaches the counter quickly. Of course, when he gets to the counter Steve is right there. Just waiting for him, palms against the counter.

Fucking stupid Steve with his stupid face and his stupid muscles and his stupid smile.  
“Hey Buck, what can i get you?” He asks, voice sweet and soft, face just so fucking perfect, making Bucky wish that he could kiss the words out of his stupid mouth. 

Bucky goes to speak, feeling his face get hot. “Hi,” He begins, the words getting more and more difficult to gather. Gripping the counter. “Um-”

Steves smile slowly turns, beginning to look concerned. “Do you need any help or anything?” 

“No,” Bucky panics, “No I just- um- I need a pizza,” No fucking shit, he thinks. “But- I want you on it- as a topping- cause I’m about that extra sausage life.” 

As soon as he says it the room feels eerily silent, he feels his life flash before his eyes, he swears he sees jesus christ himself, looking down at him in shame. 

Steve makes this sound, this sort of snorting sound. And his face just gets so unbelievably red, like he's on fucking fire.

But then unexpectedly, throwing Bucky off guard. He bursts into laughter, hands smacking the counter in a failed attempt to gather himself as he belts out hysterical laughter. 

He ends up laughing for so long that Bucky cant keep himself from laughing too, a confused snicker slipping out of him. 

Slowly Steve's laughter subsides, gentling out until Steve is just crying, wiping his eyes off. He catches his breath, absolutely devastated by how funny he thinks what Bucky said was. 

Even though Bucky doesn't even have a clue why.

“God,” Steve sighs, “Sorry about that,” he pulls in a breath, “that was a good one.” 

Bucky chuckles, nodding his head and he's so fucking confused. He babbles out, “Yeah, i didnt- I didn't know if you'd think that was funny or not.” he swallows, saying, “Um, anyway.” and goes onto order some bullshit pizza just so he can get away from Steve as quickly as possible. 

When he gets home he drops the pizza box onto the table, throwing it open to grab a slice. It's not bad even if it is a clusterfuck.

Clint gives him a look before slapping his arm, “You earned it buddy.”

Bucky goes to respond, forcing a scowl and taking a bite when he notices something strange on the pizza box lid.

Written on the inside of the box, right next to a big, gross, grease spot is a set of numbers, followed directly by, “I've got plenty of extra sausage that i can bring into your life.”

Bucky sets his pizza slice down, laughing as he wipes the grease off of his hand so he can pull his phone out without it being all greasy, to put Steves number in.

He sends Steve a text that says-

:i hope you like a little extra sausage too

**Author's Note:**

> Heres my [Tumblr!](http://www.tyranttirade.tumblr.com)


End file.
